Pregnant... by Faith

About four days ago, I received a positive ovulation test! This is about the right time as last month. So, I went out and bought some prenatal vitamins as if I'm already two weeks pregnant! I have lost 15lbs so far and I an going to continue losing the next three months. Then, I will increase my calories a little, but stay ON PLAN so that I don't gain so much. I already know I'm high risk based on my last pregnancy, but I'm ready! 

So this is what is going to happen next. I will be fine through April 22nd which will be my 2nd trimester. At the beginning of my 2nd trimester, I have to get a surgery called cerclage. It's when your cervix is stitched up so that you won't dialate too early. In my last pregnancy, I dialated 2 inches at week 19 and spent 4 weeks in the hospital laying upside to keep my bag from falling out. I was on 100% bedrest! I have to do #1 AND #2 LAYING DOWN! I did all of that for him to get sick and die at week 24. It was the worse feeling ever, but I would do it all again just hold my little Prince one more time. 😔

 So my businesses are now are setup for me to work from home and still keep my same pay. I will just need to send my assistant to the meetings. I am SUPER EXCITED to be going on this last trip in February because after April, its all shutting down. Conceiving this cycle will give me a due date of October 7, 2016! Not too close to Christmas, anniversary, or birthday...perfect!

As always, I leave you with the positive message of Not Giving Up even when it LOOKS nearly impossible, because with God, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! Check in on January 29th when I will do my pregnancy test LIVE and confirm what I already know...I'M PREGNANT!

Down 8.6lbs in 10 days! And Embarrassing Confession

So, I haven't been as transparent with you as you may think. I have a confession to make. I have gained so much weight over the past 10 years and now I have reached the embarrassing highest weight 317.8 pounds. When I married my husband, I was 80lbs lighter, but when we first met 3 years earlier, I was 100lbs lighter. This is embarrassing how I let myself go. But I will not stay in the past, I must move forward like the great psalmist Israel Houghton says. 

But that's not all. I have been hiding the fact that my blood pressure have reached an all-time high of 150/100. If you read the charts this is stage 2 hypertension and puts me at serious risk of having a heart attack, stroke, or even death. Well, I'M NOT going out like this! I refuse to deny my future children the ability to spend ACTIVE time with their mother being demobilized!

So, I have put my money where my mouth is. I've been saying for months that I was going to join the Quick Weight Loss Centers and on Monday, December 14th, I DID! I wanted to keep it a secret because every time I started something in the past I failed and I didn't want to disappoint myself again or my husband. But I looked fear in the face and I said you will not cripple me! And then I started thinking about love because perfect love casts out fear. And I am braced and put it towards my health and wellness. This is not about losing weight anymore or fitting into some jeans. This is now about loving and living to see this whole journey to fertility come to past.

Aunty Flow is here! Find out WHY I'm happy about that. Round 2 begins

So it is official. AF is here! Wait...AF IS HERE! That brownish spotting was indeed a sign of things to come. But why am I excited about having a period right now? Shouldn't I be upset that I am not pregnant? Well, I am a little bit, but you do not understand, so sit down and let me tell you a little story.

I have to take two medications in order for me to go through a fertility cycle. The first medication is called Provera. That medication is a hormone that I take for 10 days and then five days later my period comes. Previously, I have not been able to have a regular period without it being induced by this medication. Once my period starts, I take the second medication on day three of my cycle. That medication is call Chlomid. Chlomid is a medication that causes me to ovulate 5-10 days after taking it. And then I wait 10-12 days to test for pregnancy. If negative, I start Provera again. The whole cycle is supposed to be about 30-33 days.

So why am I so excited about having my period. It's because I have not taking Provera this month! In fact, I was just about to take the first pill for Round 2, when I found out that I was spotting. I didn't want to take the pill because I knew that if I did and I was having implantation bleeding then it was going to make me bleed more and that's not good! 

So I'm excited about the fact that I am having a regular hormonal experience! It is certain that I ovulated 13 days before my period. This means that my cycle was 40 days long. I am wondering, should I just go ahead and skip Chlomid to see if I will also ovulate on my own?

I keep hearing the scripture with man things are impossible but with God all things are possible. It's possible to get pregnant with Chlomid and without. The question is what method am I supposed to use?

We never got a spike in BBT which means that it was an anovulation cycle (a cycle where the egg did not release). This means Chlomid is necessary in my case. 

It could not have been the week we were away in Michigan because if I would have ovulated my basal body temperature would have been elevated for the direction of the luteal phase. When I got back home my temperature was the same 97.70! It stayed that temperature plus or minus one or two degrees.

 So the lesson that we learned this cycle is that we will have to do the bed dance (bd) EVERYDAY once we get the positive ovulation or solid smiley face, AND confirm with BBT, AND lose weight/make natural food choices to increase my chances of naturally healing PCOS. 

As always ladies, don't give up, don't give in, and always do the dance!

Round 1...RESULTS ARE IN!

Round 1 failed...maybe. The spotting was indeed the first sign of my period coming. I'm now on my period, I think which means I have to go and pick up my 2nd round of Chlomid from the pharmacy so that I can start Round 2 on Day 3 of my cycle. Its too much brownish blood though. Could it be bleeding from anything else? I'm so sorry guys. I'm confused. I thought we were going to have a PPT on Christmas Day. Pray for me and my hubby who cannot understand what went wrong...

BUT, my husband just sent me this information from Google: "The irregular bleeding or spotting that can occur during pregnancy is often a dark brown or a light pinkish color. It should not be enough bleeding to fill pads or tampons over a few days. If you are bleeding enough to fill pads and tampons, then this would be a good indication that you are probably not pregnant."

He just told me to keep hope alive and observe over the next few days! 

Such a wonderful partner!!!

The longest 2 weeks of my life

Well I got a solid positive ovulation test on both Dec 8 & 9 so I'm assuming I ovulated either Dec 10, 11 or 12. I told my husband to just make the deposit, we didn't need all the theatrics of music, candlelight and all that stuff! This week was business transactions only! I asked him if he was ok with being a "piece of meat" this week and he was more than happy to be a participant on this show! Now on Dec 13,14,15 I need to see a rise in my BBT to confirm I actually ovulated. And then, the wait!

Now, its the waiting period. Maybe the longest 2 weeks ever but I believe this is the only round of fertility meds we will need. I can start testing with First Response on Dec 25th...what an AWESOME GIFT that would be...And bitter sweet. WHEN I do get pregnant this cycle, this would mean another third trimester summer pregnancy. But remember how the last pregnancy ended? I will have almost the same exact due date as the previous pregnancy (plus or minus 7 days)! How's that for coincidence? Or serendipity? 

Anyway, if so, I know exactly when my cervix started to open, at week 19, which means, I will intentionally seek out a cerclage (stitch my cervix close until week 38) at week 14. I will also need to do bed rest from week 20. I got this now!

5 days of Smiley faces!!!

I am growing more and more frustrated with this body of mine! Today, I took another Clearblue digital OPK and the smiley face was blinking for the 5th day in a row! The blinking smiley face mean high fertility or high estrogen and SUPPOSED to mean you are about to have a LH surge for ovulation to occur. Well, I have had no signs of ovulation either from cervical mucous or basal temperature. But I have to keep focusing on the fact that I HAVE been pregnant before and that thought of "maybe you can't get pregnant " no longer works! Now, the thought is, how many cycles is this gonna take? If I am not either ovulating or positive pregnancy test (remember Thanksgiving week when I was out of town and couldn't test or temp?), well its very possible I ovulated that week and if I did, I should have a positive pregnancy test (PPT) by Dec 14th. If its not, I will restart the chlomid cycle and here we go again!