Crazy Faith!

I have been trying to keep my hope alive for the promise of a child. I know that he/she/they are coming, I can feel it in my bones! I am literally behaving as if it has already begun for example. 

I found a picture on Google of a random newborn baby picture and put as my lock screen on my phone! So everytime I unlock my phone, I am constantly reminded of the beautiful baby I HAVE! 

Then, I parked in the New/Expected parking space and just sat staring at the sign...well, until a real new mom needed it! But all I'm saying is, sometimes you have to show some CRAZY FAITH to get some MIRACULOUS RESULTS! I'm tunnel focused. Getting this weight off and when I'm done, I will go to a reproductive specialist (appt set for July 25th) and I will  get pregnant THIS YEAR! 

Update on my journey...

I am so glad I get to hit the reset button every time I wake up! Thank God I am able to try to be better, stronger, wiser, and smarter! This week, I will be trying on my new size 16 jeans of which I started at size 20! When I restarted my journey last November, I was a little scared to try them on because I felt like I was going to get disappointed. If I can't fit them, then it's just more motivation for me. I have been taking resolution drops and lost 4lbs this week as well. I have not been taking it properly. But now I'm on it! Ten drops under the tongue was too much, so I'm doing five drops and 1200-1300 calorie diet. Now, the diet is the hard part! I will try on the jeans on Wednesday after I get a colonic! Lol

Does Resolution Drops really work?

So I'm on my way to losing more weight and I heard about this Resolution drops and thought maybe I should try it. Now, I will do the plan for 30 days exactly as prescribed and will be able to let you guys know whether or not it was an enhancement to my weight loss. Currently, I have been losing about 10 to 15 pounds a month. I have 70 more pounds to lose. Once I get down to my healthy weight then I will retry the fertility process. Thanks for walking with me on this journey!

Gave up and then started again

So I was in the process of giving up and then about a day later, I realized that if I gave up, I would be a quitter! And momma didn't raise no quitter! So today, I am jumping back on the horse. The only thing I need to do is continue to believe that the promise of my family is near. It's going to be quite a story to tell, but once this part of my life is fulfilled, I would feel complete.

Going the Ishmael Route

I'm sorry I've been gone a while. I buried myself in work after the last test was negative. I'm feeling close to hopelessness of having this baby naturally. I'm trying not to go to reproductive medicine. Just a simple check up is $400! I have Obamacrap but it doesn't cover much. Pray for my strength as I stand on God's promise to us. Tens years ago, it was spoken over us that we shall have two children. We even have the names already. So if you read the bible, you will know that Abraham and his wife Sarai was old with no kids. It took 25 years for the promise of the kid to come to past. But before that, that thought they was supposed to use a surrogate as the method. God told Abraham that's not the promise child! But I'm go make sure he good though. I keep thinking about going the Ishmael route (using a surrogate) but that's not what we're supposed to do. But I'm feeling why Abraham did it though!

CLEARblue as day...

Well ladies, its back to the drawing board. Its 15 DPO and its negative. No period yet but thats weird...hmmm. In lighter news, I lost 22lbs!!!

It's all about the PORTIONS baby!

I'm starting to see that it is really all about the portion sizes I have a plate that is compartmentalized so that I can stay in control of how much I'm eating. I always put veggies in the large tray and meat and starch in the small. I also have a scale so that I can weigh my meat. On the quick weight-loss plan you can have 8 ounces of chicken but you can only have 5 1/2 ounces of steak. I'm hoping I am helping someone by sharing my journey. 

In other news there is only one week left before I can start testing for pregnancy. In a way, I am kind of hoping that I am pregnant, but then again I would like for another month to cycle so I can get more weight down. I do still have three months within the first trimester to lose a few more pounds but after that I will continue eating healthy but not focus so much on a 1200 cal diet because it would not be healthy.

20lbs down and still no baby!

..Today I hit a HUGE milestone in my weight loss journey! I am officially down 20 pounds!!! I started my journey on December 16 and today is January 21 so that is a little bit over a month. I am doing the Quick weight-loss system but I'm also learning new habits about portion sizes, drinking a lot of water and exercising about 3 to 4 times a week. For me is really not about losing weight but about retaining healthy habits that will keep my blood pressure and cholesterol levels low and healthy. But I did treat myself to a new outfit!

 It was a wake up call when the doctor told me that I was close to having a heart attack at 36. My health age was 76 and my joints and muscles was always sore. Today, I am one step closer to reaching my goal finally! 20 pounds down and 80 pounds to go but taking it one day at a time...

So my gynecologist told me that if I just lost about 20 pounds, that could be a huge jumpstart in my fertility journey. So right now I am just trying to wait out these last two weeks to see if my last cycle actually took the bait. I have eight more days before I can test or six more days if I want to use early detection test

Pregnant... by Faith

About four days ago, I received a positive ovulation test! This is about the right time as last month. So, I went out and bought some prenatal vitamins as if I'm already two weeks pregnant! I have lost 15lbs so far and I an going to continue losing the next three months. Then, I will increase my calories a little, but stay ON PLAN so that I don't gain so much. I already know I'm high risk based on my last pregnancy, but I'm ready! 

So this is what is going to happen next. I will be fine through April 22nd which will be my 2nd trimester. At the beginning of my 2nd trimester, I have to get a surgery called cerclage. It's when your cervix is stitched up so that you won't dialate too early. In my last pregnancy, I dialated 2 inches at week 19 and spent 4 weeks in the hospital laying upside to keep my bag from falling out. I was on 100% bedrest! I have to do #1 AND #2 LAYING DOWN! I did all of that for him to get sick and die at week 24. It was the worse feeling ever, but I would do it all again just hold my little Prince one more time. 😔

 So my businesses are now are setup for me to work from home and still keep my same pay. I will just need to send my assistant to the meetings. I am SUPER EXCITED to be going on this last trip in February because after April, its all shutting down. Conceiving this cycle will give me a due date of October 7, 2016! Not too close to Christmas, anniversary, or birthday...perfect!

As always, I leave you with the positive message of Not Giving Up even when it LOOKS nearly impossible, because with God, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! Check in on January 29th when I will do my pregnancy test LIVE and confirm what I already know...I'M PREGNANT!

Haven't post in a while because my smiley face won't go away!

It is DAY 8 of the blinking smiley face and I don't know how to turn this off! Technically, I'm on CD25 which in the female cycle world should be the last week before AF (Aunt FLOW) comes! So why haven't I peaked? I had a peak 2 days after the last chlomid pill but that couldn't have been real right? 

I mean chlomid is supposed to work 5-10 days after your last pill! So I peaked and then for about 6 days it was negative. Then on CD14, I went back into high fertility and have been there since! I'm using up all my OPK sticks!!!

So I have emailed my doctor and asked him if he could take me off chlomid and lets make this thing happen manually...YES, IVF! So let's see what he says. In the meantime, I'm gonna take a random PT to make sure I'm not accidentally preggos!